To the Management,
I write on behalf of the Membership Committee to register our concern regarding a recent entry on the Register.
The entry in question is listed under the alias definitely_not_here_for_the_lols and reflects a contribution of $69.00. While we do not dispute the validity of the transaction, the Committee feels that the alias in question does not reflect the dignity appropriate to membership in this establishment.
We have reviewed the founding documents. We acknowledge that there is no stated policy on alias conduct. We are requesting that such a policy be established, retroactively applied, and used to remove the entry in question from the public Register.
We would note, for the Management's consideration, that the Register is, in our view, more than a record of contribution. It is the principal public-facing artifact of this establishment. It is, in a meaningful sense, who we are to the rest of the world. It is also — and the Committee acknowledges this point will be controversial — the inheritance: the thing that will outlast the present membership and that future visitors will read first.
We do not believe future visitors should read definitely_not_here_for_the_lols first. We believe they should encounter the Register in a manner consistent with what we have, collectively, put into it.
We await your response.
— The Membership Committee, The Abyss
The Management's Response:
Dear Committee,
We have reviewed your request.
The Register is permanent. The entry stands.
We would note, gently, that an establishment dedicated to the deliberate and dignified disposal of money into a void is perhaps not optimally positioned to police the sincerity of its members' intentions. We are all, in our way, here for the lols. The Register does not distinguish, and the Management is not in the business of providing it with a distinction it has not asked for.
On the matter of inheritance: the Committee is correct that the Register will outlast the present membership. It will also outlast the present Committee. It will, the Management suspects, outlast the present management. The Register's persistence beyond its current administrators is precisely why the Management is reluctant to begin curating it. Each curation establishes a precedent. Each precedent compounds. We are not inclined to leave our successors a Register that has been pre-sorted according to our generation's particular conception of dignity, because we are not certain our generation's conception of dignity will age well, and the Register has no mechanism for updating itself when our conception is revealed, by time, to have been provincial.
We have, however, noted your concern, and we are considering introducing a platinum tier of membership for those who feel their contribution deserves additional gravitas. It will cost more. It will return nothing additional. The entry on the Register will be displayed in a slightly larger font and will be accompanied by a small ornamental mark indicating the higher tier of contribution. We feel this is consistent with our values.
The Committee may submit, separately, a proposal for what the ornamental mark should be. The Management will consider it. The Management will not promise to adopt it. The Management notes that being given the opportunity to design the ornament is, in many institutions, the actual prize, and that the Committee may find this offer more substantive than its current framing suggests.
Yours,
The Management